Books and Links for Churches, Families, Siblings, Spouses, Parents.

Updated

01/10/08

Appropriate Language in Discussing Mental Illness

Book List for Churches

Carlson, Dwight L. Why Christians Shoot Their Wounded?: Helping (Not Hurting) Those with emotional Difficulties. Inter-Varsity, 1994.

This book is worthy of its many good reviews. Carlson, a physician and psychiatrist, cites scientific evidence to restore peace and dignity to those who have been told by well-meaning individuals that their mental illness is due to sin, spiritual weakness, or lack of faith. Pointing to substantial research findings, Carlson takes issue with prominent Christian writers and speakers who over-simplify emotional distress

Carlson is one of the few current Christian writers who points out the healing dynamic in the word translated “equip” in Ephesians 4:7-13. The healing aspect of this word implies that churches need good health in order to offer healthy ministries to hurting people. Also, he points out that the business model approach of church involves number crunching leads to neglecting or crushing the wounded in our congregations.

Clinebell, Jr., Howard. The Mental Health Ministry of the Local Church. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1965.

Crabb, Larry. Connecting: Healing for Ourselves and Our Relationships A Radical New Vision. Nashville: Word, 1997.

Psychologist Larry Crabb boldly claims that churches can accomplish much of the healing that people now depend on mental health professionals to provide.

Gregg-Schroeder, Susan. In the Shadow of God's Wings: Grace in the Midst of Depression. Upper Room Books, 1997.

Johnson, Julie Tallard. Hidden Victims/Hidden Healers: An Eight-Stage Healing Process for Families and Friends of the Mentally Ill. PEMA Publications, 1988.

This book describes very well the eight stages that family and friends move through in dealing with someone’s mental illness.

Murren, Doug. Churches That Heal: Becoming a Church That Mends Broken Hearts and Restores Shattered Lives. West Monroe, LA: Howard Publishing, 1999.

This book is written from the perspective of an experience pastor who has bi-polar disorder. With it properly medicated and under good control, Doug built and was pastor of the fastest growing and largest church in his denomination. The congregation was begun in his living room with ten people and grew to an aggregate adherence of approximately 8000 with a Sunday attendance of 4800 people. Like Martin Luther who suffered from depression, Rev. Murren did not keep his mental illness a secret but used it as an opportunity for ministry.

Pastor Doug Murren writes as one wounded healer (bi-polar) to another by sharing scripture and true stories of how to create a church that brings healing to the broken emotional lives and relationships in their community.

Oates, Wayne E. Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior. Louisville: Westminster, 1987. Review.

Pate, C. Marvin, and Sheryl L. Pate. Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in the Church. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2000.Review.

Strobel, Shriley. Creating a Circle of Caring: The Church and the Mentally Ill. Raleigh, NC: NAMI-NC, 1997.

Waterhouse, Steven. Strength for His People: A Ministry for Families of the Mentally Ill (Book) Westcliff Bible Press, 1994.

Speaking from the experience of having a brother with schizophrenia, Pastor Steven Waterhouse shares the painful impact of mental illness on a Christian family. Rev. Waterhouse carefully brings to the forefront several concerns seldom addressed in other materials—particularly the valid and invalid theories of schizophrenia’s causes and the relationship of psychiatry to religion. One difficult issue is covered with a frank discussion on differentiating schizophrenia from demon influence, this work is extremely thought provoking.

Suggestions for Further Reading

NAMI Indianapolis has an outstanding discussion of current books related to faith and mental illness on its Web site. FaithNet NAMI highly recommends that you review this carefully prepared study performed by Carole Wills.

NAMI Indianapolis -- Faith Communities Education Project

Mental Illness and the Church Annotated Bibliography

Families

Amador, Xavier. I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Peconic, NY: Vida Press, 2000.

Finally! Now family members, clergy and counselors have a practical guidebook on how to work more productively with mentally ill persons who deny their illness and refuse medication.

Hatfield Ph.D., Agnes B., Harriet P. Lefley, Ph.D., (Editors), Families of the Mentally Ill, Coping and Adaptation 1999 Guilford Press

Johnson, Julie Tallard. Hidden Victims/Hidden Healers: An Eight-Stage Healing Process for Families and Friends of the Mentally Ill. Edina, MN: PEMA Publications, 1988.

This book describes very well the eight stages that family and friends move through in dealing with someone’s mental illness.

Marsha, Diane T. and Rex Dickens. How to Cope with Mental Illness in Your Family: A Self-Care Guide for Siblings, Offspring, and Parents New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1997.

Winkler, Kathy. Randi Kreger. Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family or Yourself.

Available from BPD Central @ bpdcentral.com/bks/hope.php

Woolis, Rebecca. When Someone You Love Has A Mental Illness New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1992.

This book is loaded with good practical suggestions.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Online

BPD Central Online Community for Family Members with a Borderline Loved One

NEW VIDEO ABOUT BPD ON NET

Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder in Children," from the Keeping Kids Healthy series that Montefiore Center.

It is a must-see for parents with borderline teens because it is informative and because it validates a parents' perspective.

STUDY SHOWS "SCHEMA THERAPY" HELPS THOSE WITH BPD

Schema Therapy is showing a deeper personality change that enables patients to feel better. Schema Therapy incorporates a variety of approaches, including Cognitive Behavior Therapy and emotion-focused techniques. Jeffrey Young, Ph.D., of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New York, says that the greater effectiveness of Schema Therapy arises in part from its use of "limited re-parenting."

Borderlines for Christ.

The Vision of Borderlines For Christ Ministry is to provide a Christian oriented support community for persons struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Through this ministry we have been providing services such as Christian counseling, support, information and advocacy since 1999.

Books

Forward, Susan. Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You. NY: Harper-Collins Publishers, 1997.

Gunderson, John G. Borderline Personality Disorder 1984

Gunderson, John G. and Perry D., Ph.D. Hoffman. Understanding and Treating Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Professionals and Families

Gunderson, John G. Borderline Personality Disorder: A Clinical Guide

Kreger, Randi, with James Paul Shirely. The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook

Review.

Kreger, Randi, and Kim A. Willams-Justensen. Love and Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your Partner Has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Kreger, Randi is currently working on a new book. It's an evolution of her thinking since she wrote SWOE in 1998. It contains a discussion of 3 clusters of persons with BPD. First, the classic mental health picture as seen in I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me. Second, is the high functioning person whose BPD illness is hidden to all but their family. It is very likely that a majority of people with BPD are in this cluster. Third is a mixture of one and two. These are not closed clusters because there is some overlap.

Kreisman, Jerold. I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

This classic focuses on the low functioning borderline personality disorder. It also does a good job of picking apart the emotional and psychological development from infancy on up, which has helps one understand where a lot of this stuff comes from. The book also introduces the reader to the SET theory (sympathy - empathy - truth) as a way to cope.

The discussion of BP's and organized religion helps one to understand how the rigid splitting common to all of them causes them to often gravitate toward legalistic churches, albeit only to take up legalism as another club in the arsenal of BP weapons. Yes, people with BPD can be and often are saved. However, they often use the Bible as a weapon of judgment, condemnation and criticism, not of grace, reconciliation, and love.

Lawson, Christine Ann, Ph.D. and Jason Aronson. Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship

Dealing with this mental illness within a family calls for wise and firm boundaries. This book offers practical insights and instruction where Stop Walking on Eggshells only touches on lightly. The two books together make an awesome pair. This book is quoted at length in the workbook for SWOE. It is not only descriptive of the four types of these mothers but also prescriptive in how to relate with each type within healthy boundaries.

Lineham, Marsha M. Cognative-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press, 1993

Lineham, Marsha M. Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)

Mason, Paul T., Randi Kreger, and Larry J. Siever. Stop Walking on Eggshells; Coping When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder New Harbinger Pubns (July 1998)

While this book is written specifically for dealing with one mental illness, I find its principles solid and transferable to help anyone to stop walking on eggshells around them and reclaim their own life.

Melville, Lynn. Breaking Free From Boomerang Love: Getting Unhooked From Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships

Miller, Alice. The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self.

This book could also have been named The Trauma of the Gifted Child. This sort of home environment often produces people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Moskovitz, Richard. Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at the Borderline Personality Disorder. Dallas, Texas: Taylor Publishing Company, 2001. Like I Hate You Don’t Leave Me, it emphasizes low-functioning borderlines.

Oates, Wayne E. Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior. Louisville: Westminster, 1987. Review.

Pate, C. Marvin, and Sheryl L. Pate. Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in the Church. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2000.Review.

Porr, Valerie. Marsha M Linehan (forward), When Someone You Love Has Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Repair the Relationship

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is among the most difficult to treat and debilitating of psychological problems. Even though BPD is far rarer than major anxiety and mood disorders, it accounts for more than 10 percent of all psychiatric outpatient visits and more than 25 percent of all psychiatric cases that require hospitalization. And, individuals with BPD have a greater than 70 percent chance of attempting or committing suicide.

With statistics like these, it's easy to imagine how difficult it is to be a family member, friend, or partner of someone with BPD. Maintaining a safe and positive relationship despite BPD requires specialized information and skills, the information that readers will find in this much-needed book. "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder" offers readers new ways of communicating, developing trust and repairing damaged relationships with a person with BPD. These methods are adapted from Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT), a revolutionary new psychotherapy that research suggests is the most effective means of treating this disorder. The techniques presented in the book all start from a position of compassion, with the acceptance and validation of individuals with BPD. These attitudes work to foster an atmosphere for the BPD sufferer that will motivate him or her to seek treatment, to work at the treatment they've already undertaken, and to truly believe that they can get better.

Rashkin, Rachel MS. An Umbrella for Alex

It tells the story of how a young boy learns to understand and cope with his mother’s BPD illness.

Roth, Kimberlee and Freda B. Friedman. Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust

Spradlin, Scott. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control (New Harbinger Self-Help

Reviews claim this book make Lineham’s Cognative-Behavioral techniques both understandable and useful to people who do not have a PhD. in Psychology. It is recommended for both consumers with BPD and those with bipolar.

Tinman, Ozzie. One Way Ticket to Kansas: Caring about Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and Finding a Healthy You

Walker, Anthony. The Siren's Dance : My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study Rodale Books (September 20, 2003)

Randi Kreger: “For six years, I have maintained several support groups on the web for people who have a borderline partner. Mr. Walker's book tells a very familiar story--ignoring red flags in particular. Since most non-BP partners need immense validation, this book will validate your experiences so you will not feel so uncertain and alone if you have a BP partner.”

Weiser, Conrad. Healers: Harmed & Harmful. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1994.

A psychologist and Administrator Systems Therapy and Consultation Services in Allentown, PA, Dr. Conrad has written a very helpful book from his twenty years of experience with clergy and churches. What he has to say about clergy who are narcissistic, compulsive, depressed, dependent, or borderline and helping them is very valuable.

Winkler, Kathy. Randi Kreger. Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family or Yourself.

Zakiya, Njemile. A Peek Inside The Goo: Depression & The Borderline Personality

"This book is for friends and family.”

Narcissism

Brown, Nina W. Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grownup's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publishers, Inc., 2001.

Donaldson-Pressman, Stephanie, Robert M. Pressman. The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment. San Francisco: Josey-Bass Publishers, 1997.

Miller, Alice. The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self.

This book could also have been named The Trauma of the Gifted Child. This sort of home environment often produces people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Bipolar

Duke, Patty and Gloria Hochman. A Brilliant Madness: Living with Manic Depressive Illness Bantam, 1997, 368 pages.

This is the actor's in-depth exposition of her mental illness and the way she has dealt with it. Interestingly, she seems to be one of the exceptions to the rule that people with mental illness generally deny, at least at first, that anything could be wrong. Ms. Duke's reaction to being told of a diagnosis of manic depression was that it "finally had a name!" and could be dealt with. She was, however, in her late 30's (if I remember correctly... could be wrong) when the diagnosis came and had been through many tumultuous years prior. She is, however, one of the persons with bipolar disorder who religiously takes her medication, and can't imagine her life without lithium

Duke, Patty and Kenneth Turan. Call Me Anna: The Autobiography of Patty Duke Bantam, 1988, 320 pages.

Autobiography of Oscar and Emmy award winning actor Patty Duke, this one details her whole life, including her diagnosis with bipolar disorder.

Jamison, Kay Redfield. An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness Vintage, 1997, 240 pages.

This is the autobiography to read of bipolar disorder. Kay Jamison is also a co-author of the definitive medical text: Manic Depressive Illness. A victim of manic depressive illness herself, An Unquiet Mind is her "outing" from the closet of mental illness. Though not a psychiatrist (medical doctor), she is a teaching professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.

McReynolds, James D.Min., Psy.D. DANCING WITH BIPOLAR BEARS: LIVING IN JOY DESPITE ILLNESS

Chronic joy from someone who's been there, "Dancing With Bipolar Bears" is the remarkable story of success despite a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. James "Jimmy" McReynolds was a rising star young minister when bipolar illness was diagnosed in his senior year of college. In Dancing With Bipolar Bears Dr. McReynolds shares his remarkable story and offers unsolicited advice from someone who's been there and is still there. If you have an illness, this book is your tool for shaping the life you have continued to envision but never thought possible

McReynolds, James, D.Min., Psy.D. PASSIONATE JOY: BUILDING A WEALTH OF JOY IN A WORLD STARVED FOR LOVE

Passionate Joy connects the psychological and spiritual understanding of our least discussed human emotion. This book reflects the dawn of a revolutionary approach to living. Norman Vincent Peale anointed Jim McReynolds as minister of joy to the world. The most important characteristic of a minister of joy is humility. This book teaches people the purpose of our lives is to create an atmosphere for joy and miracles to happen. Life is difficult. Building a wealth of joy enables us to know happiness. Readers will enter the joy of the Lord as they reflect upon their own joy.

Pauley, Jane. Skywriting: A Life Out of the Blue Random House, 2004, 288 pages.

Notable simply because Jane Pauley, former co-host of America's "Today" show and former correspondent on "Dateline," would ordinarily be one of the last people one would suspect of having bipolar disorder. Jane is generally not perceived to be the usual tenacious, hard-hitting reporter which one ordinarily identifies with having that type of job, or holding those types of positions. Rather, she seems much more like "the girl next door." It was, therefore, a headlining news story that she had been diagnosed and spent time hospitalized, for bipolar disorder.

Jane's type of bipolar, (medication induced Bipolar III), was diagnosed after she was prescribed steroids for a bout of hives. Jane's discussion of bipolar disorder is, like Jane herself, rather understated. There seems little of the drama and chaos that ordinarily accompanies and surrounds this condition in her life.

Well written and good "biography" reading, and good for getting a more well-rounded picture of who may have the disorder, but lacking in imparting substantive understanding of the disorder itself.

Spradlin, Scott. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (Paperback)

Reviews claim this book make Lineham’s Cognative-Behavioral techniques both understandable and useful to people who do not have a PhD. In Psychology. It is recommended for both consumers with BPD and those with bipolar.

Schizophrenia

Fuller, E. Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Consumers, and Providers (Fourth Edition) Torrey, New York: Harper Collins, 2001

Kotulski, Tina. Saving Millie: A Daughter's Story of Surviving Her Mother's Schizophrenia

Waterhouse, Steven. Strength for His People: A Ministry for Families of the Mentally Ill (Book) Westcliff Bible Press, 1994.

Speaking from the experience of having a brother with schizophrenia, Pastor Steven Waterhouse shares the painful impact of mental illness on a Christian family.

Rev. Waterhouse carefully brings to the forefront several concerns seldom addressed in other materials—particularly the valid and invalid theories of schizophrenia’s causes and the relationship of psychiatry to religion. One difficult issue is covered with a frank discussion on differentiating schizophrenia from demon influence, this work is extremely thought provoking.

Siblings

Imagining Robert: My Brother, Madness and Survival by Jay Neugeboren Rutgers University Press, 2003.

Life of a mentally ill Robert from a brother's perspective, this book details the trials of dealing with mental illness in the family from a personal point of view. The author was actually left to deal with his brother pretty much on his own when the parents up and moved to Florida, leaving Robert in the State mental health system in New York while his brother, Jay, became a professor of English at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst.

Robert has been variously diagnosed as schizophrenic, bipolar, and bipolar with schizo-affective, but the diagnosis doesn't really make much difference in this story; it's a moving, personal account of mental illness.

Spouses

Depression

Imperfect Harmony: How to Stay Married for the Sake of Your Children and Still Be Happy. by Joshua Coleman. New York: St. Martin's Press, 2003.

His chapter on marriage to a spouse with depression addresses the dynamics very well.

Coping with a loved one's depression

Borderline Personality Disorder

See Previous References.

More resources

Resources for Daughters and Sons Who Have a Parent with a Mental Illness

For more information contact:

                                        John M. Crowe, D.Min., APC

                                         Member, NAMI-NC

                                         Member, NC Mental Health Association

                                         Incapacity Leave

                                         E-Mail drcrowe@nccumc.org

                                         Phone:   919 759-2146

The NCC-UMC Committee on Disability Concerns provides this information and should be used with great caution. It should not be used as a substitute for seeing a licensed therapist. We are not associated with any licensed medical organization or mental health organization Use of such information is voluntary and any specific products or psychological/theological advice derived from this site or its links does not imply our endorsement. Nor does listing imply full agreement with the content or the authors of each site listed below. We expressly disclaim liability that would result from use of information from this page's references, referrals, or links.

This space is provided in partnership mission by the North Carolina Conference Information Technology and Communications,

The United Methodist Church.

The content of this home page is the responsibility of the Committee on Disability Concerns.

This Web Site was created with the aid of Internet Explorer and Microsoft Word.

Since January 11/10/06

This page has been visited.



The Christian Counter